Jan. 8th, 2017 04:09 pm
tanagokoro: (Default)
[personal profile] tanagokoro
゚・:*:・。♪☆A Happy New Year(*‘∇‘) ゚・:*:・。♪☆

hwa! a post of the new year, it was not a very good new years as i spent it off/on suicidal, depressed, and generally terrified of any social interaction.

i feel very slow, redundant and.... theres another word but i can't think of it right now, not very good still lately. maybe still a little out of it, i have never spent that much time away online and in isolation before, so i'll probably feel weird for a while.

im not really that big on new years nor am i the type to make a bunch of resolutions, well i do but they aren't something i would share with family or outloud if someone asked. i figured i would write them here for good measure.

  1. clean my room (i havent cleaned my room since my dog died, so its been about a year since then and there is my awful unpacking job from the nightmareish christmas trip of 2015. i ordered senga's busaiku posters, so i'm hoping when they are to be shipped to the US i'll be motivated to pick up the clothes at least. it'd be a miracle if i cleaned off my desk)

  2. patience.....

  3. try to think more rationally when im faced with emotional flare-ups (hard.... i havent found a healthy way to better diffuse my own emotions)

  4. be more open to talk to people when im upset or if someone expresses concern (another hard one.... i am so used to going off and destroying myself over something that i can't comprehend someone is willing to listen and help me through something. i feel immense guilt for the number of people i either blew off or snapped at last year)

  5. talk outloud more

  6. take better care of myself (my physical health has been the worst its ever been in a long time, especially my eating habits)

  7. save somewhere nice, validating things (weak emotional permanance is a big hinderance in my life)

  8. always be kind and always remember to apologize (i am doing okay with this i think, but it could be better)

  9. do better in school

  10. GO TO BED ON TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (lately its been ok with the time i fall asleep, but i cant sleep for very long yet)

i finally got my birthday money from my dad, it was 60$ and so far i bought 2 posters, 1 magazine, and jweb subscription. i was hoping to get enough to buy at least 1 of the i scream DVDs or all 3 michishirube editions, but ah well..... money in the house is very tight or non-existant. i am just glad i got some to spend since my birthday was a bit empty (though i dont regret drinking that day)


  • i have never been more excited for a precure series to end, mahoutsukai has been such a drag. im really disappointed because i love the concept of witches and magic, but it has been a very lacking season. the new villians started to show up for where i am, but i just am really tired of mediocre combat and things being unexplained. i'll watch the last 5 or so episodes i think. im really looking forward to kirakira!!!!! ive always wanted an animal theme (another most wanted cure theme would have to be something.... digital?video games?robots?technology? like cyber cures.......... gatchaman crowds stuff) and i love the characters so far.

  • leila bought me a popplio plush, i keep taking it around everywhere like its a newborn baby. Its so cute, so i dont want it to be alone

  • MICHISHIRUBE IS GREAT IM SO PROUD OF BUSAIKU AND ALL THEIR HARD WORK im looking forward to watching dvd content if/when it gets subbed, i want to show all my friends and just about everyone that theyre amazing and working very hard (especially senga)

  • SENGA! I LOVE SENGA SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • i wish for in 2017 senga keeps getting more work! towards the end of this year he was in a lot of fashion magazines and i want that to continue to be a thing for him since he's into fashion. it would be fun and something that makes him happy. im also wishing he will have drama work too, even if its something minor. do your best this year senga i am rooting for you like always!

  • SMAP disbanding......... ive been trying not to think about it too much since theyre still in the agency as solo artist, but ah...........

  • i want to make more friends this year on my own, theres always this great anxiety following people first on twitter.... even if im sure they will follow back and we have the same similar interests, its still so nervewracking. i also want to try talking more to people off twitter, i use line but just to 1 person. i would probably have an easier time making friends if i got better at handling group chats, there was that one for kisumai but i was too scared to join even though there was people there i knew.

  • cain and abel is really good? i was a bit lost in the 2nd or 3rd episode because i was confused about the place they work and what they do exactly, but it got clearer as things went on. im waiting for the subbed finale to be uploaded the only thing i know about the ending is yama ends up with the other girl in the office and they kiss. theres not a lot of substance in the relationship besides theyve been friends and co-workers for a long time so of course she develops feelings for him, but its a bit annoying because they barely interact in the show. i want azusa to make the right choice and stay at work without getting married or at least be married but her and ryuichi both are working. i dont want her to quit her job for some guy....

i don't think i talked about i scream anywhere but I SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!! since it was released i watched it every day for about a week. it was so good and tons of fun, i wish i could have been there irl. tour documentary footage was very lacking comparied to previous, but overall the concert is very rewatchable. everyones solos were amazing, i want so bad for solos to continue in the future!!!  its been their best concert so far. the only wrong thing was flamingo definitely should have been the full version, i am so #@$^#$$@#! that busaiku's lines were cut out because i was looking forward to that live the most. Get Ready was (long string of profanities and dirty text with additional incoherent screaming) senga lately is too much....

and a video of my most favorite person in the whole world



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